Attack of the Obsessive Complusive Disorders
by JediYvette
Summary: Same as the other four--though maybe not quite as funny...


Attack of the Obsessive Compulsive Disorders  
Obsessive Compulsive Star Wars, Episode 5  
  
Disclaimer: I still do not own Star Wars  
Note: This is the last obsessive compulsive story based on the Star Wars movies. The next ones (Yes, I know, I have no life) are going to be based on the books. I hope I have included all the characters reviewers had requested. I am sorry if I missed one.  
  
  
R2D2 stood in front of a sewing machine, making a heart shape doily. He was going to sell them at the annual "Crafty Droids Creative Bazaar." He wanted to earn enough money to buy a sewing machine that could make 3-D doilies. Working for hours on this one doily, making sure it was perfect, Artoo finally finished and started a new one.  
  
"This Tickle-Me-Elmo was such a deal!" Darth Vader thought, clutching his newest toy. "Hee hee hee," the toy chuckled as Vader pushed on its tummy, "Elmo loves tickles!" Dancing around the Death Star, spinning in circles, grasping Elmo's red fuzzy hands, Vader laughed hysterically. Well, until he crashed into the wall and lost consciousness. "Ha ha ha!" laughed the Elmo, "Tickles are so much fun!"  
  
"Lunar Celestial Power!" shrieked Lando Calrissian while watching his favorite show. Dressed in the identical costume of Sailor Moon, Lando practiced his fighting skills on his rather beat up chair. "In the name of the moon," he told the chair, "I punish you!"  
  
"Look at all the clothes this Cabbage Patch kid comes with," replied Jabba the Hutt in Huttese, "And what cool hair it has! Now my other ones, Norma Louise, and Joanna Celeste have a new friend, Cloe Lynne! This is so great! I need to register their names online!" With that, Jabba attempted to get up from his pedestal, but crashed like a slug thrown from 50 stories, on the floor of his palace.   
  
C-3PO wandered the shelves of the store, but could not find the right obsessive compulsive disorder. No toys interested him, not foods did he like, and no TV shows did he like to watch. Depressed, he left the store, and wandered into the parking lot. Sadly, a speeding car kinda sorta did not miss him...  
  
Darth Vader rose from the floor, quickly checked to see if anyone saw him, dusted off his cloak, and picked up his Elmo. No more dancing, Vader thought, At least not today. Walking along the hallway of the Death Star, Darth Vader started pointing out significant places, "Look Elmo," he said, "That is the assembly room, there is where the ships are stored, and there is where the Emperor performs his drag queen act..."  
  
Lando, still dressed in his Sailor Moon outfit, walked to the local comic book store. The newest Sailor Moon comic had just come out, and Lando had to have the first copy. This would explain why he was standing outside, at three in the morning, in a mini skirt and red calf high boots.  
  
"Norma," Jabba the Hutt sitting on the floor of the otherwise abandoned palace, spoke in a Huttese falsetto holding up his newest doll, "I am Cloe. Nice to meet you." Picking up the other doll, Jabba then replied, "Nice to meet you Cloe, this is Joanna. You have some great out-fits. Can I borrow your cool hair brush?"  
  
Artoo filled all 27 crates full of doilies. That was all he made that day. There were another 37 semi trucks waiting outside full of doilies. He would get that new sewing machine sooner than he thought. With the bazaar only 6 months away, Artoo had many more doilies to make. Time was wasting.  
  
Vader strolled into the cafeteria of the Death Star. After attempting to force-feed the Elmo, he finally gave up, and ate the raspberry Jell-O on his own. "He must not be very hungry," Vader thought, staring worriedly at his friend...I mean toy.  
  
C-3PO walked along the highway, after a rather intensive repair session at the local Midas (Car repair place, for those who did not know, and thus would not have gotten the joke, had that not been explained. Never mind, just continue.) He attempted to collect bottle caps, but he found carrying 24, 000 blue metal circles rather annoying. Now he was looking for year 2001 pennies. That was not working either. They were just as annoying as the bottle caps. Disgruntled, C-3PO stomped his foot, and threw the pennies on the ground. Just then, a just as disgruntled postal worker floored it, and plowed into C-3PO.  
  
"We are playing beauty salon," Jabba told his toady, Bib Fortuna, while he smeared bright red lipstick across his doll's face, then on his own. "We are going to look beautiful," continued Jabba, as he caked both his doll's and his own eyes with blue shadow. "The Bounty Hunter Alliance Annual Brunch is going to be here in an hour. We both need to make an impression."   
  
Lando paced back and forth in front of the comic book store. Finally, when his patience ended abruptly, he picked up a rock, threw it into the store window, and tried to unlock the door. "I must have the first one!" he yelled as he was dragged away by the police, "In the name of the moon, I have to have it!"  
  
The Elmo still was not hungry at dinner.  
  
"Beep beep beep beep," Artoo panicky uh...beeped. Translation: Where are my freakin' doilies? I need them, or else I won't get that new sewing machine. Apparently, all 45 semi-trucks full of his doilies had miraculously vanished. "Beep!" screamed Artoo. I do not think we need the translation for that.  
  
Jabba was frantically washing his Cabbage Patch's clothes, because they were covered in rouge. There was a slight accident. You don't want the details. "There is only 15 minutes until the bounty hunters come. Wash faster." By this time, Bib Fortuna had informed Jabba that the hunters were already there. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screamed Jabba the Hutt, thus sending him into a complete mental breakdown. His last conscious thought was, "Where is my dolly?"  
  
C-3PO, again pieced back together at the other local Midas, wandered into the parking lot of a construction site. Now he was collecting used screwdrivers--Why? Don't ask--but he only found 11: That's not an obsessive compulsive disorder. He thought there would be a lot of them here. Searching the ground critically, he was right. He found 13. However, this was unlucky 13. While looking inside a seemingly abandoned toolbox, left so irresponsibly next to a Port-A-Potty, a rather large metal beam, kinda sorta fell from a crane. 100 million tons of steel met C-3PO's head.  
  
Vader now was standing outside of the critical care unit of the Death Star's infirmary. Afraid Elmo had an eating disorder, he paced outside the door, waiting for a doctor to give him an update of Elmo's condition. Finally, after what seemed like decades, a grim looking doctor opened the door. Vader freaked out at this point. Before the doctor could get a word in edge wise, Vader pushed him against the wall, demanding to see his friend...uh toy.   
  
Lando, having made bail, entered the comic book store he just earlier tried to break in to. The Sailor Moon comics were all sold out. Falling to his knees in despair, weeping uncontrollably, he cried, "The humanity!"  
  
Jabba the Hutt woke up in a mental ward on Tatooine. His dolls, dresses in straight jackets were found nearby. Screaming to see his lawyer, Jabba tried to rush to the door. He kinda oozed, instead. Nobody cared that he vanished back at the palace, and in fact, all his minions partied with the bounty hunters.   
  
After finding his doilies (the drivers were all on lunch break at the local KFC), Artoo celebrated, relieved that he had only 55 more semi trucks worth, not 120 that he had to make. Not that he would have minded, considering he had no social life. And so, at the bazaar, he sold enough doilies to buy the sewing machine--and the company who manufactured it.  
  
Darth Vader, also dressed in a straight jacket, was carried away from the hospital. Screaming that he needed to talk with his Elmo, he was pushed into the padded white truck. His friend taken away, Elmo sadly waved from his hospital window.   
  
C-3PO then got ran over by 37 semi-trucks full of leftover doilies.   
  
The End  
  
I know this is not as funny as the others. It is also much later (earlier????) at night that I am writing this one. My mind is probably elsewhere.  



End file.
